Millions of peaches

It's a constant struggle to feel comfortable where ever I am. I used to think I didn't want anything to change. I cried, inexplicably, when I was ten and we were moving away. I couldn't understand why - I was so excited for the adventure, and the chance for something new, and then I balled and balled. I guess I learned young that change is inevitable, and unstoppable.
It's more or less second nature now. In fact, if too much time passes and everything is the same, it starts to feel unreal, like I can feel a major event coming, the way you can feel a storm. But I precipitate these events so I don't have to wait for them or get caught off guard. I've been feeling one lately, a huge one, and I think I know what it is.
Jobs are easy. I change jobs a lot.
No, no this is way bigger. Like changing lives. I feel like I'm going to (like I need to, really) change lives. I spend my free time looking at apartments on craigslist in different cities, some I have no chance of ever getting to, some I wouldn't really consider anyway. I plan moving costs, job opportunities, google street view cities and towns and roads and everywheres.
It'd be easier not to go anywhere, but it wouldn't feel right.
I can't fall asleep anymore. My internal clock is all messed up. It's getting ahead of me.
Jesus, I can't believe I'm twenty-two. Where did all those years go?

Screw the blog world, I'll do what I want

It's time to do something more exciting with myself than the simple day-to-day bullshit. I need to -- I want to! -- get out and go far away. Even as far as Coney Island. But with the whole working thing and school and friends and blah blah blah I'm spending 14 days a week on stuff that I only have 7 days to do. It's May, I'm 21 (okay, okay, I'm 21 next month but please, it's only next month), it's time for adventure! It's time for me to leave this body for a while. In June I'm going to Boston and in August it's California then Chicago, and this may be the first time I'm taking a vacation for the sake of taking a vacation. Boston is a birthday trip, so I'm going to a city where I don't know anyone specifically to party. California is, of course, a familial obligation, but that doesn't mean I have to sit around my dad's house watching daytime tv like I usually do. And Chicago -- well, I haven't decided about that one yet. I've never been there, really, and have a hideous prejudice towards the Midwest. But my (sometimes) ex lives there now, and tells me about it often. How he did this, went there, loves this, wants to do that. So I decided that I want to see it. Want to know if it's worth the hype he assigns... and I have some plans. Of course I want to do some touristy stuff, go to the top of the Sears tower, go to a Cubs game (in particular, a Cubs-Mets game)